How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
