just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
