I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Every concussion has its silver lining
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
