I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
organizing the empties. That sober.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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