haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
