I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
