It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
