What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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