come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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