he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
