I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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