If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i would punch a child for taco bell
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
