he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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