I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i've created a new STD.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I love you. Go after that dick
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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