I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
