Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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