Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
