So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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