Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
