Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
