The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
