Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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