1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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