Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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