Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
