I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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