11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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