so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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