HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
