Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
high people should be assigned attendants
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
