so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
