I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
