omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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