yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize