Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
