I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
