Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
