I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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