He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
