bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
