what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
