So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
