We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
