Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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