Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
