we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You can't just leave with hair like that
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
