What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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