Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
