I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I believe in your delicious
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
