SEEEEXXX PLEASE
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
