Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
soo... how was my night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
