sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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